How to Choose Your First Sex Toy?

Buying your first sex toy shouldn’t feel daunting or embarrassing. Think about how you would approach buying anything else designed to make your life more enjoyable: with curiosity, comfort, and a little guidance.

Whether you’re leaning toward a dildo, a masturbator, a vibrator, or something completely different, the right choice depends on what you want from it and what feels comfortable for your body.

If you would prefer to begin with a quick shortlist, explore our guide to the top five sex toys for beginners.

Here’s a simple and friendly guide to finding your first sex toy.

1. Who Is the Toy For?

The first question to ask yourself is whether the toy will be used primarily for solo exploration or partnered play.

Solo Use

A solo toy can help you explore your body, discover what feels good, build confidence, or simply make your private time more enjoyable.

If you’re new to sex toys and want a versatile option, a compact vibrator can be a comfortable starting point. A model such as the LELO Elise 2 offers both external and internal stimulation, although complete beginners may also prefer something smaller and simpler.

Couples Play

Many toys are designed to be enjoyed with a partner. Vibrating rings, small external vibrators, air-pulse stimulators, massage toys, and remote-controlled devices can add new sensations without replacing any part of your existing intimacy.

The LELO IDA Wave Couples Massager and LELO Tor 3 Vibrator Ring are examples of products designed with shared play in mind.

Before choosing a toy together, it helps to discuss preferences, boundaries, and expectations. Our guide explains how to use sex toys with a partner in a comfortable and pressure-free way.

The Curious Beginner

If you are just starting and aren’t yet sure what you will enjoy, ease into the experience. A smaller vibrator or compact masturbator allows you to explore new sensations without feeling overwhelmed.

If you have a penis, the Arcwave VOY Compact Stroker is an approachable option for someone trying a masturbator for the first time.

2. Choose a Comfortable Size

Size is often a major concern for first-time buyers, but there is no universally correct size. The right choice is the one that feels manageable and comfortable for you.

If You’re a Beginner

Smaller or medium-sized toys are generally easier to control. They can provide noticeable stimulation without feeling intimidating.

For dildos and other insertable toys, many beginners feel more comfortable starting with a slimmer shape and a moderate insertable length. Product measurements should always be checked carefully before purchasing.

Masturbators

Many masturbators are designed to stretch and accommodate a range of sizes. However, you should still check the product dimensions, whether the sleeve is open-ended or closed-ended, and any recommendations provided by the manufacturer.

If You Want a Fuller Sensation

Once you are comfortable with your first toy, you can experiment with larger or wider products. These can provide more pressure and a fuller sensation, but bigger does not automatically mean better.

If You’re Buying for a Partner

Unless your partner has clearly expressed a preference, choose a standard or moderately sized toy. Avoid assuming that an unusually large product will provide a better experience, particularly for a beginner.

3. What Is the Toy Made Of?

The material is just as important as the size. It affects the toy’s texture, firmness, flexibility, cleaning requirements, and overall feel.

Silicone

• Usually smooth and comfortable against the body
• Available in soft, flexible, and firmer designs
• Commonly used for premium vibrators and insertable toys
• Generally straightforward to maintain when cared for correctly

Silicone is often a good all-around choice for beginners, but you should still check the product description and the manufacturer’s care instructions.

TPE and TPR

• Soft, stretchy, and often designed to feel realistic
• Commonly used for masturbator sleeves
• Usually more affordable than premium silicone
• May require more careful drying and storage

These materials can be a good option if you are looking for a soft, flexible, and more lifelike texture.

ABS Plastic

• Hard, smooth, and durable
• Often used for bullet vibrators and external stimulators
• Suitable for precise, focused stimulation
• Easy to wipe or clean when the product instructions allow it

Glass and Metal

• Very smooth and firm
• Suitable for more intense pressure
• Can be used for temperature-based exploration when the manufacturer permits it
• Less forgiving than soft or flexible materials

Glass and metal toys can work well for specific preferences, but their firmness may feel more intense than a beginner expects.

4. Which Kind of Toy Is Right for You?

Dildos

Dildos are designed primarily for internal stimulation and pressure-based pleasure. They can be a good option for people who want direct control over speed, angle, and depth without vibration or complicated settings.

Vibrators

Vibrators are among the most versatile sex toys. Depending on their design, they can be used for external stimulation, internal stimulation, or a combination of both.

They can work well for solo exploration, foreplay, and partnered intimacy. To understand the differences between bullet, wand, G-spot, couple, and dual-stimulation designs, read our guide to the most common types of vibrators and who they’re best for.

If you eventually want a product that combines multiple types of stimulation, a model such as the Womanizer Duo 2 Stimulator may be a more advanced next step once you understand your preferences.

Masturbators, Strokers, Sleeves, and Cups

Masturbators are designed for people with a penis and can provide more texture, pressure, and variety than stimulation by hand alone.

They range from simple manual sleeves to automatic and app-connected devices. Some prioritize portability and direct control, while others offer vibration, rotation, suction, or automated movement.

For help comparing textures, materials, manual models, and technologically advanced options, explore our guide to male masturbators, sensations, materials, and care.

Vibrating Rings

Vibrating rings are compact toys that can be used during partnered sex or solo play. Depending on the design, they can add external vibration and may also help some users maintain a firmer erection while worn correctly.

They are often an approachable option for couples because they are small, simple, and easy to introduce without dramatically changing the experience.

5. What to Expect From Your First Toy

More Control Over Your Pleasure

Using a toy can help you discover which types of pressure, movement, placement, and intensity feel best. That knowledge can also make it easier to communicate your preferences during partnered intimacy.

Greater Confidence

Understanding your own body and preferences may help you feel more comfortable expressing what you enjoy and what you would rather avoid.

A Private Way to Explore

Many modern toys are designed to be discreet, quiet, rechargeable, and easy to store. You can explore at your own pace without needing to explain the experience to anyone else.

People who feel uncertain about their first toy may prefer something sleek and visually approachable. A product such as the Womanizer OG G-Spot can be less visually intimidating than larger or more complex designs, although its stimulation style will not suit everyone.

A Pleasant Surprise

Many first-time users are surprised by how natural and enjoyable the experience feels. There is no need to achieve a particular result the first time—the goal is simply to explore and notice what works for you.

6. Tips for a Great First Experience

• Use a compatible lubricant: Water-based lubricant works with many sex toys, but always check the manufacturer’s recommendations.
• Take your time: There is no reason to rush or immediately use the highest intensity.
• Begin gently: Start with slower movements or lower settings and increase them gradually.
• Listen to your body: Stop or adjust the position if anything feels painful, numb, or uncomfortable.
• Clean the toy correctly: Follow the instructions for its material, electronic components, and water-resistance rating.
• Allow yourself to experiment: It is completely normal to laugh, reposition the toy, change settings, or discover that a particular sensation is not for you.

Different materials and electronic components require different types of care. Read our detailed guide on how to clean and store sex toys safely before using and storing your first product.

Final Thoughts

Your first sex toy should be about curiosity, comfort, and enjoyment. Choose something that feels right for you rather than something you believe you are supposed to buy.

Pay attention to size, material, stimulation style, ease of use, and cleaning requirements. Start gently, give yourself time to experiment, and remember that there is no single product that suits every person.

Ultimately, the best first sex toy is one that feels comfortable, helps you explore without pressure, and brings something positive to your solo or partnered intimacy.